Friday, August 24, 2012

Hey, Fat Girl.

taken from: http://flintland.blogspot.ca/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html
i needed to report this so i can ALWAYS look at it if i need. this makes me feel incredible inside. i was fat. i am chubby. i am overweight. i am beautiful. i am determined. i am lovely. im so amazing. im awesome! :)


Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home.  You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

long overdue!

 its been awhile since ive really updated with anything other than superficial thoughts. so might as well :)

first off...a superficial thought:
i.am.currently.wearing.MY WEDDING & ENGAGEMENT RINGS!

they have not fit since before i got pregnant with M. lets also say, that this ring was purchased for me when i was about 195 lbs. im currently sitting at 232.2 and im wearing it. maybe because im losing the weight right and consistently. maybe ill be thinner looking at 195 this time around? who knows. only time will tell.
i can tell with my mentality the last 2 months how its gonna be different this time. i feel better. motivated. i dont make as many excuses as i used to. i MOVE. its not about gym all the time, now it is about MOVEMENT and THAT makes a lot of difference. between tennis, biking, sand volleyball...im moving so much every week. i still dont feel lighter, and some days it hasnt hit me. the other day i went to a calorie burn website i use (healthstatus.com) and it asks for your weight. i entered 250 out of habit. but im nearly 20 lbs less than that! how crazy!
on July 21st i set a goal with a friend to lose 30 lbs by Dec. 25th. i was 251 lbs. here i am, 6 weeks later, it beign August 24th. i have FOUR MONTHS to go and i am down 19 lbs. soooo basically my goal is to lose 11 lbs in 16 weeks. lol. i feel empowered.

J is being SO awesome. he bikes 9 miles to work and 9 back on occasion. he loves to go play tennis and vollyball with me. he loves to eb active. and you know whats way awesome? he was at his highest after M was born at 262 lbs. he is now 229 as of this morning. WHAT A GUY! :)

its more than just him. this is a family affair.
Since July 6th:
my younger sister J has lost 18 lbs.
older sister K has lost 27 lbs.
brother in law S has lost 42 lbs.
my J has lost 33 lbs.
cousin A has lost 20 lbs.

as a family, just those members, we have lost ONE HUNDRED NINETY FIVE LBS!!! holy SHOOT. thats CRAZY.
 we have lost an entire me at my goal weight :)

that fact alone is exciting.


anyhow. my littles arent feeling so great and neither am i. but i am motivated to get some calories burned today. tennis anyone? :]

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

having a mentally hard day :(

i ate under my calories ysterday still (only by like 250 but whatev) and i didnt exercise...and i still somehow GAINED.

i know i need to just drink my water and see if it levels out in a couple days. but still. makes me crabby!

Monday, August 13, 2012

nifty 50.

50 lbs down.
58 to go.

im 238.0 today.

not too shabby.

i know realistically, the next 58 is likely to come off in about 11 months. its rough mentally. but im GOING to get through it.

:)

this week i have gone swimming. bike riding. tennis. beach volleyball. and walking.


i feel great :)


Saturday, August 4, 2012

journal entry for class

 Health Habit. YES every day i had a strawberry banana smoothie with a little rolled oats blended in about 280 calories depending on how much fruit i used. some days i think i hit maybe 325 but mostly stayed around 280-290
exercise: im proud of this one. 
Sunday walk and played catch
Monday Walk 20 mins
Tuesday: none
Wednesday: Beach Volleyball, Walking 40 mins, 30 minutes frisbee
Thursday: swimming, light, 30 minutes
Friday: None
Saturday: going swimming for a few hours today!

Weight 242.4
Wait: 48
Hips:47
Arm:15.5
Neck: 15.25
Thigh: 30
i dont remember what last weeks were but i feel better. i can tell in my face and in my shoulders that im getting smaller and that is HUGE for me. its hard because i have such a large midsection that you cant see the real difference, and while i dreaded measuring this term, i like it because i can see numbers change, even if my body looks the same. forward movement! im feeling great!

i dont know if i did the walkport thing well but heres what it says!
one mile walking 22minutes 24 seconds, i wasnt really sure how fast to walk so i did it at a leisurely pace. Score 21 Rating FAIR METs: 8.914080000000004 and VO2Max: 31.199280000000016. i dont know what those mean. i did see my suggested program and will likely follow it when i walk next week! i made myself a commitment to walking at least 25 minutes 5 days a week and have been able to keep that commitment, also adding in things like volleybal and swimming. i feel great!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

:)

Some pictures....

Some pictures....(sigh of relief meets gasp of fear).

This took a lot. But its a "midway" update. Today I see a difference in my face, and I see a difference in my shoulders. Which is very important for me. I've always wanted shoulders unlike a linebacker.
To see them start to slope downward is inspiring.

The rest? Just a couple pics I intend to reproduce after I've lost another 30 or more lbs. I want proof. Sometimes I look at me and don't see 43 lbsb lost since m was born. Sometimes I see a glimmer. I'm working out though.
Our plans as a family this weekend? Swimming, playing catch, walking and tennis or volleyball. In two days! This week I've walked, walked, walked, played beach volleyball, frisbee, played catch, walked more and I'm swimming tonight! I feel good! Here's hoping there's more movement!

On july 21st I was 251 and committed to losing 30 lbs by dec 25th. I've lost 8 since then EIGHT! I've got 22 lbs to that goal and I've got 4.75 months to go! Feeling pretty good :)