im not proud of this.

but hey, im pregnant.

ive been craving Muchas Gracias. Greasy ole Mexican food.

also Symphony Bars by the pound.

it sucks not wanting fruits and veggies.

but with the nausea ive had. i may as well eat when i can.

its nervewrackign that im bloating already, and i am not sure how i feel about it.

but if bebe is growing well. i dont mind :]

lets NOT shoot for 65 lbs this time though, body.

Peeing on Sticks....

here i am, smack dab in the middle of trying to teach my son to pee on the toilet, and i am peeing on sticks; capturing urine for scientific analysis that happens in two minutes.

those commercials of women pacing with the urine soaked stick on the counter are false.

in reality, regardless of the nature of your trying to concieve or lack there of, you sit, pants around ankles, unknowingly holding your breath, and you watch. watch as the peepee makes its way across the little window, and wait...is that the first line? or the second? is that a real line? is it my imagination?

our minds play tricks on us as we watch, imagining for a split second what we do, or do not, want to see appear.

in my case, though i wanted so much for that little line to appear, it left me paralyzed, standing as if that would show my urgency to the first response life changer in my hands. i stood there, pants and underthings around my ankles, belly hanging every which way, still not quite in tact from the first set of lines i saw 3 years ago. and i waited.

and then i took another test...same expectation, this time sitting bare bottomed on the bathtub.

then a few hours later another...

thats right...i dont believe it the first time.

but it didnt lie. it delivered what it promised.

and in about 9 months, i will deliver what was promised to me.

please keep me in your thoughts for a smooth pregnancy.

this little firefly is so beautiful to me.

on a weight related note...back to vegetarian after this baby is born, and cutting out a lot of meat while in utero.

picked up SKINNY BITCH: BUN IN THE OVEN and it is an eye opener. strongly recommended, but prepare to get offended.

loves!