a weeklong plateau.
learning to be consistent with food.
taking a nutrition class and learnign things id rather not know.
and personal things causing big impacts.
first off. im 219.6
ive lost about 68.6 lbs.
ive got 39.4 to go to my "goal" of 180.
ive decided to change it.
i dont want a goal number. i just want to be healthy and work on my body until it decides that it is where it should be. my body knows best, not i.
im using the information im learning and i am going to be healthier.
eating MUCH more fruits and vegetables.
a friend of mine is going through a crazy time. his wife, who is 26, has cancer. there is no easy way to say it, any not horrible way to say it. but she doesnt have much longer. as of rigt now, they are estimating that she has days. its super hard to watch him go through this from afar.
(side note, i was recently just given word my own biopsy came back benign. so i feel very re-evaluate-y)
she is 26. pretty healthy looking (prior to her treatments) and she didnt have any reason to worry. any reason to believe at 25 she would be diagnosed with cancer that would basically be the end of her life. shes beautiful. she married the love of her life last year, and shortly after was diagnosed, with a wonderful partner at her side.
she had everything goign for her, and then disease took that away. ive spent a lot of time reflecting for her, for her husband.
and also for myself.
i keep putting myself where she is at and it is heartbreaking. it just makes me appreciate my health. appreciate my body. appreciate nutrition and doctors and options.
i have choices i can make, every day.
i can CHOOSE to drink a lot of water.
i can CHOOSE to have veggies instead of chips.
i can CHOOSE to have a smoothie instead of a burger.
i can CHOOSE to walk, even when i dont want to.
i can CHOOSE to take my bike instead of the car.
and i can CHOOSE to make this my life, and the example i set for my children. my Maya. my Julian. they deserve to grow up KNOWING about how to treat their bodies. and how to love it. and love themselves and take care of themselves.
not that there was anything K could have done to prevent her cancer. it defied all the odds and statistics and still afflicted her. but i can take charge of what i CAN control.
and i CAN control how I treat MY body.
and im GOING to treat it WELL.
and this transformation will be mental too.
negative thoughts are another type of disease. having compalints all the time is exhausting and tiring and hurtful. it brings nothing constructive.
im going to give, more than i ever have before. it doesnt take money to be a giver. it takes compassion and doing WHATEVER YOU CAN with WHAT YOU HAVE.
im going to continue to pump for my daughter. it gets TIRING. it gets exhausting. i have school full time, and volunteering and work study. and sometimes i just want to quit. i am 100% pumping, and she doesnt nurse. sometimes i just dont feel like its fair! but its important. its a way i can do as much as i can to protect her from cancers, obesity and childhood illnesses. and it protects ME. by nourishing my girl, i lower MY risks of certain cancers too.
im going to keep at it. itll be worth it.
im going to walk. bike. crawl. anything to be active.
yesterday i walked 6.1 miles.
and i felt pain in my chest. how scary! nothing serious,
i could just tell my body wasnt used to it.
but its a harsh reality.
my body was made for moving and for living. and its not moving efficiently.
dang it.
im fixing this.
i was given this beautiful body, and its broken.
so im fixing it.
more on this later. :)
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