baby fat

So as ive mentioned before i have gained mroe weight than i have wanted, and i have been eating a LOT healthier.

ive been keeping myh eye on the prize, a healthy baby girl come february, and then a plan of attack to get rid of whatever i gain.

i acknowledge that it is not put on overnight, but over 40 weeks, and so whatever i gain, i resolve to lose in 40 weeks. i know that my baby eats what i eat, and am trying to fill it with good stuff. i refuse to be sad that i am feeding myself, my body and my baby with greens and wheats.

i know where i can improve. its my beverages for sure. i crave drinks! juices and mt dew (i know i know i can hear jillian michaels getting pissed at me from here) and the fact that while my body doesnt agree with warm cheap low calorie at home coffee...its totally in agreeane with frappuccinos. ive been doing no whip and non fat but still...i need to cut down. so i will.

my body is telling me what it is going to do for my baby. im going to trust nature and not my confused brain.

as long as im giving it good fuel and being more active...and making sure to get in my water, i know i will be successful. the goal is keeping this little precious girl in there for longer, so she can grow.

ive made it through almost 23 weeks, and i feel SO good knowing that if i can make it through another 1-5 weeks...heaven forbid she comes early...there is a chance. it may eb one in a million, but there is a chance she will be all right.

the longer the better. i dont have any reason as of yet to think that she will not stay until 37 weeks. but a friend of mine recently delivered, for no good reason, at 27 weeks...and i need to be prepared for the unpredictable.

today i do Yoga.

i should have been doing it more in the last 23 weeks, instead of only once. but i have 17 weeks left until my due date.

17 weeks left until Feb 14th 2012.

i have 17 weeks of yoga and healthy eating and good choices to make to impact my daughter and change my life to give her the best shot possible.

love this positivity.

i have had to take vicodin for some torn muscles and muscle spasms for the last 1.5 weeks. i havent even taken one today and i feel cloudy and slightly out of it. time to wean myself off and see how im feeling.

i dont like this foggy haze im in.

im keeping my head int he game, watching biggest loser and talking to people, making healthy choices.

i need some Green Giant Steamers...those things are awesome. great, thanks Bob Harper, now im freaking craving cheesy broccoli.

watching season 7 and seeing Tara Costa, knowing that in 2008 i believe, she was on this show at 294 and she JUST completed an Ironman...this is so incredibly motivating, she won 8 challenges and never fell below the yellow line. she lost double digits almost every single week. she worked HARD. Kristin from this season lost all this weight, at over 300 lbs down to a healthy enough weight to get pregnant and have the baby she wanted so badly.

the winner of this season was Helen, a woman in her 50s! how incredible all of this is.

eeeesh!

okay so its been awhile. sue me, im pregnant.

no joke ive been eating pretty healthily. i have no desire for ice cream or chocolate, and have only had sweets like that maybe a handful of times in this pregnancy. ive craved salads and tomatoes yet still ive gained more than my share. i truly believe, without any excuses, that this is how my body reacts to pregnancy. i will also admit that i have not exercised much. with back pain and nausea and now a holy moly head cold, it sucks balls to do anything exercisey.

but im keeping my mind on the goal...growing a healthy baby. after that the plan is establish a good milk supply, and after i know ill have milk to nurse with, then i will be working towards losing the weight.

i have a lot of plans in place and accountability...ive joined a weight loss board online to mingle with people on their journeys so that i can keep my eye on the goal for the next 6 months, and ive got buy in from Jamie to work out with me and really get dedicated. since ill have put on a majority of the weight in the 10 months of pregnancy and the 3 months before that when i emotionally ate, im going to work my butt off and keep a realistic goal. if it took 13 months to put it on...i should expect it to take that long to remove it. of course though, i will be working out as if it wont take that long ;]

also ive got my sister on board, though we live miles and miles apart, a whole state even, i love how excited she is to do this with me! she even said that she would start now and work on this until i could.

jamie and i agreed to take Before photos the day we officially start. ill take one a week after i have the baby (to allow for reduction of swelling) and then another 4 weeks later when we start really getting on it as my official before picture, and then one a month until i reach either 175lbs or a size 10-12 whichever comes first. i know where i look good, im not focusing on a number specifically but that range is where i feel best. i like curves and meat on my bones.

and to whoever created the BMI calculator that says my ass should be 145lbs at 5'9" screw.you.

im beautiful and healthy heavier than that. and i love me :]

ill keep posting my foods and holding myself accountable over the next 18 weeks of pregnancy.

fo now imma go back to watching episodes of biggest loser (miss you jillian!) and making plans and healthy choices for me and my baby :]

chow fo now.

ew

not gonna lie...

ive been eating pretty healthily...sometimes a few food indiscretions. but no ice cream cravings or anything, matter o fact my baby hates chocolate and ice cream! and ive been craving salads.

but im gaining, just as fast as i did with Jude.

im not worried. im beautiful, i have a loving man who loves my soul, and i knw itll come off after. i really need to get better at drinking water.

bottoms up!

:)

sooo

im pregnant. yes, this is true.

this means i will not actively try to lose weight.

however, i will try to eat healthy.

since i have been pregnant i have lost about 9 lbs due to the sickness, and no i can keep most meals down with nausea, but am craving sourness. :]

trying to be smart.

need waters. its hard.

im not proud of this.

but hey, im pregnant.

ive been craving Muchas Gracias. Greasy ole Mexican food.

also Symphony Bars by the pound.

it sucks not wanting fruits and veggies.

but with the nausea ive had. i may as well eat when i can.

its nervewrackign that im bloating already, and i am not sure how i feel about it.

but if bebe is growing well. i dont mind :]

lets NOT shoot for 65 lbs this time though, body.

Peeing on Sticks....

here i am, smack dab in the middle of trying to teach my son to pee on the toilet, and i am peeing on sticks; capturing urine for scientific analysis that happens in two minutes.

those commercials of women pacing with the urine soaked stick on the counter are false.

in reality, regardless of the nature of your trying to concieve or lack there of, you sit, pants around ankles, unknowingly holding your breath, and you watch. watch as the peepee makes its way across the little window, and wait...is that the first line? or the second? is that a real line? is it my imagination?

our minds play tricks on us as we watch, imagining for a split second what we do, or do not, want to see appear.

in my case, though i wanted so much for that little line to appear, it left me paralyzed, standing as if that would show my urgency to the first response life changer in my hands. i stood there, pants and underthings around my ankles, belly hanging every which way, still not quite in tact from the first set of lines i saw 3 years ago. and i waited.

and then i took another test...same expectation, this time sitting bare bottomed on the bathtub.

then a few hours later another...

thats right...i dont believe it the first time.

but it didnt lie. it delivered what it promised.

and in about 9 months, i will deliver what was promised to me.

please keep me in your thoughts for a smooth pregnancy.

this little firefly is so beautiful to me.

on a weight related note...back to vegetarian after this baby is born, and cutting out a lot of meat while in utero.

picked up SKINNY BITCH: BUN IN THE OVEN and it is an eye opener. strongly recommended, but prepare to get offended.

loves!