whoa...

right after a haircut. early 2010.
this is the smallest i think i have gotten in over 5 years. this was about march 2010 and right after this i gained about 20 lbs back. if you slack...it comes back. be GOOD.

i love feeling beautiful.
when i was bigger...i did NOT wear dresses by choice.
i can find em in my size now!
this i believe was a size 12 regular dress. (eff you bridal sizes)
november 2009
size 14 november 2009
having fun, because i felt GREAT
the feeling i remember i had that day i will feel again :]

damn i looked good.
at a blazer game...november 2009.
round november 2009 also. the jeans look MUCH better here than below eh?
something. sometimes.
morning time.
october 29th 2009. right before it started to really come off :]
i dont know when this was...but these jeans i believe were the size 16s :]
im amazing at getting goood angles.
sometimes you have to lose shame to gain motivation.
oh my word.
right after my tattoo i think early september 2009.
September 2009.
also september i think. having fun with angles ;]
it was a long car ride and i got bored.
J's daddy and i.
summertime at a baseball game.
chubby me and little bug.
decent photo i spose.
oh my word. bad angle much?
oye.
this one boggles my mind. he was pretty new here i think. less than 5 months old for suresies.
:]
i think about 4 months postpartum?

ha i love his face and am shocked by mine.
whoa.

thats all i have to say.

just going through pics from the memory card on my phone.

oh my word. here are some in a very random order through the past 18 months.

it has been such a transformation and we arent done yet. we have 32 lbs to go. thats right. im openly admitting that i have gone from 281 to 195 in 14 months only to go back up to 215 from March 2010-June 2010. its on now.

its 180 or bust.

i want to say ive lost 100 lbs and be truthful :]

and then get to the 168 region so that i dont have to ever be above 181 ever again...cept when i have another child :]

i love life.

holy HELL!

look how BIG i was! this was October!
http://marriagemattersoregon.org/2009/10/rachel_may.html

and this is me NOW!

Before and current Pictures.

oh my word.

oh my word.


while doing some looking into a christmas present for a friend, i found myself going into old photos. and found some i had never seen before. my friends took them, the day i had my son.

i was nearly 300 lbs.
dont believe me?
take a gander.





i dont think i ever truly realized what i looked like at the end.

since this time, i have lost 76 lbs.
holy crap.

i have been sick for a couple days, literally, not leaving the house curled up on the couch, and feeling miserable. not just because of my ailment but also because that means im being sedentary. ive been staying within my calories, sometimes eating things i shouldnt. we all resort to comfort at times like this.
but im working on it.

my scale is my wii balance board.
i use it with the biggest loser game.
i use the same scale each time. and do it the same time, first thing in the a.m.
3rd day sick i was down to 206.
im sure that has gone up and i havent been doing as well with the waters as id like.
but still.
im proud of this.
i went from clearly obese to not obese : ].

will be excited when i can start working out again.
thats a lie. but im excited for weight loss.

here are some current photos. just took them.
please forgive the messy bathroom.
the blue shirt is one i made after my friend Shane passed, and i havent worn it comfortably since he died in Feb 2006. its been nearky 4 years. its evident to me the weight piled on after i lost him and also a couple others.
anyhow. my bathroom slash laundry room is messy.
and keep in mind i am rather excellent with cameras at making myself look awesome. (i think any fat girl is).
but this is me.