i do pneumonia wrong

i swear...

i hhave had pneumonia for 9 days....and most of those with no apetite. and i still and the same shape.

i was smart ad ate each day anyway, to make sure i wasnt depriving my body, but nothing changed. i dont even know.

im feeling better, thank goodness.

im so so thankful for my health.

those doctors knew what they were doing and are taking good car eof me.

im blessed.

but seriously.

LOSE SOME WEIGHT BODY!

i dont think it helps that i have been a little depressed over a few things. i wish that i could just see where everything is going to end up so that i knew i could get through a lot of my feelings right now.

when it comes to break ups...sometimes i dont think you ever realy break up.

:(

i wish it were different. and its been eating at me the last few days. on top of being sick and holed up for a few days, i just am getting emotional and physical cabin fever.

since ive been home i swear ive been so jazzed just to be here that ive cleaned and cooked and built fires...all of which are not awesome for recovery thats for damn sure.

i wish i could say that the best part of pneumonia is the weight loss like some people...for me though, its the hot doctor and the feeling of recovery. im so so blessed that its almost over!

Honesty...

im going to be honest. i havent been good.

been craving sweets, and given in to them.

im not sad about it.

i can tell you that im averaging around 203 right now, still in my plateau, even when i cave into the temptations. i dont gain much, or lose much. but today im probably packing on at least 5 lbs in water weight.

the pictures below show it all. this isnt my normal stomach anymore. this is concentrated bloat. not from "Aunt Agnus" that i can tell. i feel like i look moderately pregnant from the side. Im NOT fyi :)

it goes to show that the caving in is not the problem. cheating or giving in to temptation will not cause crazy weight gain if done every once in awhile, but your body may have an adverse reaction...also if you havent drank much water in the recent days. i just had about 32 ounces of water, likely more than i had drank in the last 2 days combined. THIS is why its important. because if your external body has such a drastic effect from not having much water, what is happening on the inside?

bodies are beautiful. i feel good. i know i havent progressed much, and i have fallen off the wagon. but still, im me. and ive maintained this "i feel beautiful" outlook, and plan on doing so.