but its one huge sigh.
id like to say weight loss and accountability are easy but they arent.
heres hoping that certain situations change and things change for the better.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Pneumonia pffffft
to celebrate a friends birthday...even if i couldnt be there.
i got all dolled up and put on makeup...and then hacked my brains out.
on a weight loss or lack thereof related note...
turkey chili for dinner
quesadillas for lunch
oatmeal and EW omelette for breakfast
i think i did all right.
should likely consume more water.
Happy Birthday Lady J!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
i do pneumonia wrong
i swear...
i hhave had pneumonia for 9 days....and most of those with no apetite. and i still and the same shape.
i was smart ad ate each day anyway, to make sure i wasnt depriving my body, but nothing changed. i dont even know.
im feeling better, thank goodness.
im so so thankful for my health.
those doctors knew what they were doing and are taking good car eof me.
im blessed.
but seriously.
LOSE SOME WEIGHT BODY!
i dont think it helps that i have been a little depressed over a few things. i wish that i could just see where everything is going to end up so that i knew i could get through a lot of my feelings right now.
when it comes to break ups...sometimes i dont think you ever realy break up.
:(
i wish it were different. and its been eating at me the last few days. on top of being sick and holed up for a few days, i just am getting emotional and physical cabin fever.
since ive been home i swear ive been so jazzed just to be here that ive cleaned and cooked and built fires...all of which are not awesome for recovery thats for damn sure.
i wish i could say that the best part of pneumonia is the weight loss like some people...for me though, its the hot doctor and the feeling of recovery. im so so blessed that its almost over!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Pneumonia.
Sickness. No appetite yet I still eat....
thank goodness that there is no nausea or vomiting.
hideous fever half the time. body aches. coughing and chest pain.
but what hurts the most is myh little boy coming up to me wanting to cuddle and make mahmee better, and i cant...because i dont wish this on anyone...especially my baby.
missed lots of work which means lots of monies.
and i havent been the best about my food. but i cant even think. and its not important.
its times like this, when i feel this horrible, tat things are put in perspective.
this beautiful body of mine is fighting an illness that used to kill people.
this beautiful body of mine is fighting and infection that is invading my core.
this beautiful body of mine is fighting, to get better. and its crazy beautiful!
sure i have flaws, but im healthy (for the most part) and im alive. alive!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Intervention
i watched an episode of Intervention with a sweet girl named Amy.
who was bulemic. is bulemic.
some of the stats they showed blew my mind.
for example.
a girl of her height should consume about 2300 calories a day....she consumes over 24,000 and then purges. TWENTYFOUR THOUSAND!
a girl of her age and height should be anywhere from 115-154 lbs (thankfully they used reasonable ranges). this girl is 92 lbs.
they showed her working out, and binging and i was in awe.
how can you not know youre beautiful Amy?
how can you not see the look of pain and love on your family's faces?
how can you reject their longing to help?
you are beautiful.
but this is unhealthy.
man alive i wish people didnt think so low of themselves, that they feel the need to do such things.
we are beautiful.
yeah i have stretch marks.
yeah i have a mom pooch.
yeah im overweight according to other people.
yeah i dont have an ideal bikini body.
yeah ive got "more cushion...."
yeah im chubby.
but fuckitall im BEAUTIFUL : ]
just like you.
please know this.
you're beautiful.
simply beautiful.
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