Showing posts with label dieting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dieting. Show all posts

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Poutine...

soooo J came to take me to a late night date in portland and told me to prepare to break the diet. we dont have cheat days so i thought it would be okay...


he took me to poutine.


dont know what poutine is?
i wont even tell you.
go google it.

and by the way...it IS possible to have a hangover for your belly. i woke up feelin horrible, meat sweats and all.


sigh.


but its a good feeling. its like i know that my body doesnt like those things that years ago wouild have been AMAZING.

:]
progress!

Friday, November 13, 2009

secrets.

im tired of wearing jeans either too loose or too tight. wheres the inbetween?

im tired of my legs rubbing when i walk...wearing out my pants.

im tired of being able to physically grab my chub.

im tired of only having a pretty face.

im tired of not being fit.

im tired of not being able to run without exhaustion.

im tired of feeling guilty when i eat something good n greasy.

im tired of gaining weight by eating the good n greasy.

im tired of seeing women who dont have to try to lose or maintain weight loss.

im tired of not being fat enough for weight loss programs...but still being 60 lbs overweight.

im tired of being chubby.

i want a change.

i want to be 167 lbs. still thick n curvy...but not SO thick and bumpy : ] i want to buy clothes off the rack...the non plus size rack.

i want to be able to say...wow. i lost over 100 lbs since my son was born!

i want to run for 10 minutes STRAIGHT.

i want to play a sport. or finish a 5k.

i had a bad week. and its ONLY my fault. i HAVE to get this under control.

by my 24th birthday im going to be under 185 lbs. dammit.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

a little backstory about my big backside.

I am almost 23.

i've worked at a desk job for almost 5 years.

and I just had a baby 10 months ago.

I have a family history of Diabetes and Thyroid problems.

this is not a great equation.

I, like most fluffy adults, had a problem from adolescence.

i was a leaner kid, but enter middle school and high school and it got the best of me.
i had some self esteem issues, and ill be honest, ended up with some bad eating habits...and disorders.

i cleaned up though and entered age 18 at a new job working for a wireless company call center.
i was 5 ft9'' and about 175 lbs...165 if you look at my license. this was June of 2005.
i wasnt rail thin but i wasnt very fluffy. i was healthy.
by January 2008 i was 235 lbs, and started to exercise and eat healthy to lose weight so my love and i could try for a baby. i got down to 220 by April when i found out i was pregnant.

Exercised moderately for 7 months...until i started to feel HORRIBLE. i hardly gained at all until then, but then this raging appetite and lbs of water weight packed on. i was gaining at one point 12 lbs between 2 week appointments. doctor said it was water weight but as my pregnancy gain reached 60 lbs i was so disheartened.

When i went in for labor and delivery after my water broke in December 2008 i was 281 lbs. another 9 lbs of weight from swelling and water weight and IV drips brought me to 290 before i had him.

i weighted almost 300 lbs at 5'10'' and 22 years old!

shortly after j was born i experienced the tragic loss of a friend of mine, the third friend in 3 years.

i started to eat healthy and exercise to drop the weight, and miraculously i dropped 70 lbs by April 2009! it was cake! i had energy up the wazoo.
i kept up the healthy lifestyle, but plateaued.
then gained 13 lbs in 2 weeks.
started experiencing muscle pain and incredible fatigue and i couldnt figure it out. neither could the doctors. my thyroid levels were up...then down...the rheumatologist showed no rheumatoid arthritis. they were stumped.
for 3 months i felt this way every waking moment. but in July, i met a wonderful doctor who figured it out. my endocrinologist explained i had Postpartum thyroiditis. a skyrocket in thyroid hormones and then a plummet shortly after. it explained everything, and explained why i kept gaining. some days were horrible. id feel so bad that i was eatign right and exercising, and still gaining that some days i would binge. one day i was so pissed i ate 5 donuts on top of my normal food.
the thing about PPT is after a year it typically goes away...but for some, especially women who have family history...it might stay and you end with hypothyroidism forever. we started hormone thyroid medication. and now its a waiting game. to get my levels retested after J is a year old.

Biggest loser is my favorite show.

i watch it every week and sit on my yoga ball watching in awe...wishing i could quit my job and exercise. i recently learned their intake is 1200 in 6000 out per day in calories or something like that. not so sure i could do that.

but i recently started working out.
and it really helps to hear Jillian Michaels and Bob Harpers voices ring in my head....

this is my blog.

this is me trying to overcome this plateau and get the right motions happening.

i am currently yo yoing between 215 and 225
and i want back that 175.

i dont need 130 lbs.
i dont need a size 2.
i dont WANT that either.
those doctors may say my healthy weight is 135 lbs...i say screw it. i never appreciated 175 as much as i do now. i looked good. lean. firm.
to be honest, i dont care what the weight is if i could get into a size 10, i'd be a happy camper.

this is all about things i learn...mistakes i make and successes i achieve.

feel free to give me advice...
this is a topic i dont mind uncolicited advice about ; ]
but im only doing this the healthy way.

calorie counting, exercising. making smart choices...

im gonna do it.