ugh

man. its been a rough coupla days.

after a few days off cardio, i went back on. kept eating healthy every day (cept one because i had a craving for those tiny deep fried burritos...yum. but despite it all, i still gained 3 lbs?

how?

so i stopped looking. i need to get my water intake back up. i also just got off of miss lady thing. so maybe im bloated?

we are deciding on meal plans and better eating habits. we spent WAYY too much money on food last month outside of grocery shopping. time to tighten the budget and make sure to save some cash.

i ran yesterday! i ran! for 5 minutes. not a full on sprint...but folks. I. Dont. Run.

and i ran!!!!

:] i look like a bear havign a seizure when i run, but i RAN!

:]


talk about success.



heres hoping my work still gets me there.

thigh sighs.

its a hard day today.

ive done about 30 mins of cardio every day for 5 days straight. havent gone to 24 hour fitness recently because of wanting to be at home with j, i have been exercising at work.

last night for some random reason i binged a little lotta bit.

well i tried to not make myself feel guilty.

ive been doing well!

its so hard to keep going because i feel im not losing anything.

people make the statements "oh you've lost weight" but when you see yourself in the mirror every day...you dont notice the small changes.

but im trying to keep my chin up.

30 more minutes of cardio and some lighter weight lifting today.

had a couple hershey kisses today to give me smiles through the tough day at work.

but when i went to sit down earlier...i realized how big my thighs are. they are HUGE. its hard to notice their true girth when im standing. but oh my word. its going to be hard to notice the differences. because lets face it...im no size two.

i gotta admit, im rather embarrassed about how i let myself get here.

its hard to focus on the good things sometimes.

i've lost nearly 80 lbs total since the day i actually had my son, 12.27.2009.

EIGHTY!

by working out and eating better (thank you breastfeeding also!) i lost EIGHTY POUNDS in about 10 months.

when you look at it that way, im really just about 30% from my goal.

but damn.

50 lbs is harder than it looks.

50 lbs is a lot more than it looks.

im not aiming for a size 2. heck im not even aiming for a size 10.

its just difficult.

my heart is hopeful; my brain is just getting down today.

i want comfort snacks.

pirates booty for the win!

im going to post pictures soon.

i feel i should wait until there is more progress.

HOW DO PEOPLE KEEP IT UP?

i'm the lowest weight ive been in about 2 or 3 years i wanna say?

its incredibly hard to not just give up.

but i am GOING to do this.