nearly 4 weeks.

i have not weighed myself since i was weighed at the doctor a couple weeks ago and i was 269.

i believe i had mentioned that was about 20 lbs down.

i feel like ive made further progress.

i did put myself in a pair of jeans that didnt have elastic in the waistband :)

they were a size 18 (barf) and my stomach is definitely shaped differently than it was prior to baby number 2. but im okay with it. i have no desire to weigh myself yet. 4 weeks may seem like a long time, but in terms of healing from having a baby? heck no! your body spends 40 weeks GROWING the baby, why shouldnt i allow more than 4 to recover? the paijn has basically subsided, im just trying to find balance and energy. trying to breastfeed and find sleep and balance two children. its not hard, just different, and intentionally trying to lose weight while trying to maintain and grow a milk supply is not feasible. im going to be smart about my foods (no fast food in the last 4 weeks!) drink my water (liquids are more important than ever now). ill worry about trying to get in more exercise and counting calories when im not trying to grow a thriving supply of food for my baby with my body :) in a couple weeks it should level out, and i plan on incorporating walking into my routine to jumpstart things and get back into it.

just some thoughts about the whole weight loss thing. im excited to see it happen eventually to be real honest. yesterday i went out in the blustery oregon weather and grabbed an old sweater i wore about 16 months ago. it was a Medium. yeah, can you say "fat girl in a little coat?" :) noooo i dont consider myself fat, but it wouldnt even close enough to try to zip it. it will be nice to wear it comfortably again! also, i had to have J put all my "skinny" clothes in the garage for now since there is no room in our house for them.

i WILL bust those out sooner than later.

Weight you WILL NOT DEFEAT ME :)

2 weeks.

I told myself after m was born id wait 6 weeks to start exercising and counting calories. I need to build milk supply and really bond with my family. I made an agreement that I would allow 46 weeks. (40 weeks it takes to pile it on, it should take the same tok lose! plus the 6 weeks that I'm not trying anything)
But I wish it still just fell off.

Topped weight at delivery was 288. Ewwwwww. Admitting it sucks.
At my doc appt today I weighed in at 269.
Improvement yes. But justt hard. I'm weirdly shaped, can't wear normal clothes. Other postpartum friends are already prepregnancy weights. I'm gonna do this. I know I will.

Just gonna be a process. But hey, gives me something to blog about!

Pros and cons

Today.

Successees:
I breastfed :)
I upped my water intake by like 200%

Hinderances:
I ate cake.
:)

(I don't regret it.)

:) no cake tomorrow. Or the days after. But it was brought to me, and I ate some. No excuses...I just did it and I own it.
I'm gonnna be a good role model for my perfect little girl and her amazing brother.

The better way...

You'll wanna cheat.

Just don't cheat with a pint of ice cream.

Ben and jerrys, starbucks and a few others have "serving size" cups which run around 200 calories. Not a low calorie snack necessarily...but its a lot better than mindless snacking from a pint when suddenly...you see the bottom of the container! You won't feel full, fatty or guilty :)

Just a thought. :)

10 days post partum

This is a rough day. I don't feel very positive. I've been eating well, and often to keep up with milk supply. The swelling in my feet and legs has gone down but I still feel icky.
My end weight was 288. *gulp*
I know its a work in progress, but I feel so down today. Inside influences have me feeling blue. Benefit? I've got a beautiful 3 year old and a beautiful newborn girl.

Ill start exercise in 5 weeks. But the calories will stay up a little bit to allow for breastmilk. :)

Sigh. Ill write more later. Tonight I'm reflecting on my family, my babies. I don't need no negativity clouding such a pretty thing.

sigh....starting off worse than before.

the damage is done, and once this baby comes i am going to be on my own with the weight loss.

im heavier than when i delivered jude, and as the numbers creep up i get a little sad. Im VERY happy for the reason WHY I am heavy. Im excited to meet my daughter. but the fat girl in me feels defeated. I want to be better! I want to be thinner! Ive gained all the weight back and then some since last January!

but you know what? I CAN GET YOU OFF, FAT!

YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THEY CAN DO IT!

so there.

pfffft.

Tea!

Home stretch of pregnancy. About 2.5 weeksish until she is gonna be here depending on punctuality and my body.
In recent weeks I've craved big macs, and despite that have lost a couple lbs. I eat every 2 hours to keep my energy up. And yesterday I started regular raspberry tea with fresh fruit slices. YUM. Gotta keep that up after baby!

No real updates. I'm less weight than when I started this blog after having my son but there's still time :) I'm happy but tired. All The Time. I hope to feel normal after I have her! Life is good friends. Remember that. Fat or thin...you are Alive!