beeeeen baaaaddd.

got sick this month.

and it wasnt the good "no apetite" sick. it was the "i cant pull myself up off the couch into a standing position...but im hungry as heck" sick.


i can almost certainly guarantee ive gained back...but my wii wont turn on right now to check. probably a good thing.

gone back to the old ways for awhile. and christmas didnt help. when i was younger christmas was ONE DAY. december 25th. now that i have a family., its now Christmas Eve, Christmas and other days if we all need to get together. sigh.

my Son Turned One.

holy crap.

amazing.

he is BEAUTIFUL and i am SO blessed for him. i ate a trillion cupcakes, or 5. and felt horribkle. but i regret NOTHING on that day. im his mommy and in his eyes i am beautiful and perfect and just the way he likes.

i keep remembering...i need to get the body i deserve before he is old enough to remember me big.
that way the mom he sees is ALWAYS the mom he finds beautiful. life if for this guy. and its wonderful.

im hungry.


im at about 1kj calories today. not too shabby got dinner left. and a movie...its todays temptation.

not gonna lie...

ive been bad. ever since i got sick this month ive slacked. its hard to go a week without cardio and then get back in. i have been loosely counting calories, and ive certainly gained lbs back.


its hardcore, because i know i deserve every lb.
but i will get better.
for Christmas my sister bought me some portion bowls and a new water bottle; i also recieved my pedometer from the health insurance company. its pretty decent. but i had no idea how many steps 10,000 is. ive clocked maybe 74 since i put it on :]

i havent eaten very well today. one pancake, egg white omelette and potatoes with ketchup. some pirates booty (260 calories worth) cup o java and a rockstar.
i went to bed at 0130 woke up at 0700. oh how i wish for a vacation. gotta do something to get moving.

my boy will be ONE on SUNDAY!

Before and current Pictures.

oh my word.

oh my word.


while doing some looking into a christmas present for a friend, i found myself going into old photos. and found some i had never seen before. my friends took them, the day i had my son.

i was nearly 300 lbs.
dont believe me?
take a gander.





i dont think i ever truly realized what i looked like at the end.

since this time, i have lost 76 lbs.
holy crap.

i have been sick for a couple days, literally, not leaving the house curled up on the couch, and feeling miserable. not just because of my ailment but also because that means im being sedentary. ive been staying within my calories, sometimes eating things i shouldnt. we all resort to comfort at times like this.
but im working on it.

my scale is my wii balance board.
i use it with the biggest loser game.
i use the same scale each time. and do it the same time, first thing in the a.m.
3rd day sick i was down to 206.
im sure that has gone up and i havent been doing as well with the waters as id like.
but still.
im proud of this.
i went from clearly obese to not obese : ].

will be excited when i can start working out again.
thats a lie. but im excited for weight loss.

here are some current photos. just took them.
please forgive the messy bathroom.
the blue shirt is one i made after my friend Shane passed, and i havent worn it comfortably since he died in Feb 2006. its been nearky 4 years. its evident to me the weight piled on after i lost him and also a couple others.
anyhow. my bathroom slash laundry room is messy.
and keep in mind i am rather excellent with cameras at making myself look awesome. (i think any fat girl is).
but this is me.

sickness.

this feel horrible.

im not going to lie. i couldn't afford this.
im sick, and this is day 2 of not being at work, day 3 of feeling horrible.
what started out as an intense sore throat on Friday turned into all over soreness, fatigue and weakness on Saturday and Grand Central Mucus today complete with hot and cold flashes, weakness and coughing. my head feels like its going to explode.
i ate like crazy on friday, definitely over my 1600 calories. saturday i only felt the energy to eat crackers and beef barley stew. and today so far, i dont even remember what ive had. i know ive had a lot of coffee and theraflu. warm liquids for the win.
coffee probably isnt the best thing for me, but oh well. i cant sleep away the day. i have to somewhat watch the baby j. thank goodness for nanny A.

im exhausted.

but.

im down 2 lbs. i don't know how. i haven't burned anything other than the sedentary 85 calories an hour in 3 days.

i have been keeping up my water so im not just losing water weight.
im down to 206.

it feels nice to at least feel like ive been accomplished while im still sick. im making decent, all right decisions.

for now i am feeling cloudy head.
i'm going to rest.
now that i've coughed all over my laptops.
ugh.

26 lbs to go.

im overweight now...wooo!

only time i can joke about that.

i weighted myself last night after about 80 oz of water and a big dinner.

of course, it showed 211. i got discouraged until i remembered, first thing in the morning. and i was right. first thing this mornign before coffee, breakfast oir water i weighed myself.
207-208.
for my height, that makes my BMI 29.8 which is just at the very tip of the OVERWEIGHT category and not the OBESE category.

im working on it. slowly but surely.

just by may, thats all i need. thats 28 lbs in the next 23 weeks.

1.21 lbs per week.

i can do this. i CAN do this!

dude.

i wasnt THAT good today.

i had 2 skinny cows: 300 calories.
veggie fajitas on my super amazing Don Pancho tortillas.
subway for lunch...i splurged on a higher calorie one. yummay!
and a granola bar for breakfast. and my coffee. oh i needed it.


i didnt do the shred today or do any of my workouts. but i had a really really rough day.

im getting a lot more people noticing.

i am thinning up a little bit.
im hoping to maintain this.

i need this for me.

:]

just bought some new workout sweats at walmart to replace the ones i wore today.

went from the XL to the L : ]

things are coming along; im not as responsible as i would like to be. but i am gettign there.

May.

my baby will be 17 months old and me 100 lbs lighter than the day i went into labor.


im excited thrilled nervous and restless.

but its gonna happen!

LOVE MY LIFE : ]

jillian michaels

30 day shred has convinced me i do NOT want to work out with her.

holy cats.

ive done it before but it HURTS.


i remember why i stopped.

oh my.

oh my.


im down to 210 says my scale on the wii.


30 lbs to goal!!!!

im close. im 2 lbs away from not being obese anymore lol.

yay.


praying for my family during hard financial times...

and praying i can keep this going. lets go for broke daddy...and not be broke anymore : ]


loves and loss.


m.

05.27.2010

on May 27th 2010 Julian will be 17 months old.

i am going to be 180 lbs on 05.27.2010.

im 211 now.

i bought a kettlebell today.
i have been using my yoga ball for back extensions and for torso turns with a medicine ball.
im using the kettlebells and small 5 lb hand weights for basic strength training and exercises.

i need to lose about 1.25 lbs per week to reach my goal.

i can do this.

i have a healthy weight coach from my insurance calling me biweekly.

she wants me to hit 3500 cals burned per week ( 1 lb worth) and eat 1600 calories or less.

do i think this is reasonable? yes, but i can tell you i am probably not going to reach it.

i hate giving up time with J to work out.
but its time to step it up. i have to meet this. to show me, to show big J to show little j that i care about them and i love them and for me. i need this. this closure.

i want energy, stamina. i want to be able to run.

i have of course like always flaked out on my exercising i was once so gung ho about. but i am going to do this. somehow some way healthy like.


i love my life. i love my sons life. i want to make it the best for him that i can, and i need to get healthy. my BMI as of last week was 30.3. im 3 lbs away from crossing from the OBESE mark to the OVERWEIGHT mark.
when im 180 i will be lbs away from being Normal Healthy Weight BMI.

support, comments, flattery...offer me what you can.


i love my life.

owowowowowow.

worked out something fierce on Friday, and i'm paying for it today.

alongside the intense soreness comes cramps.
the cramps.
holy heck these hurt like the dickens cramps.
i did show 1 lb weight loss since last weigh in. water weight mostly.
but still.
31 lbs to go to feel that over 100 off my shoulders, then a little more after that.


Ive been on the couch with a heated rice pad and toblerone...i only ate half...still a lot but i dont even want to get up let alone eat.
i'm hurtin.
i want this weight gone.
uploaded some pictures i'm sure will help me.
(more on that later).
i'm exhausted.
JudeBug has a horrid ear infection and the cold.
we're both poor little creatures right now.
i still have 32 more ounces of water to drink i better get on it.,

until next time.


(tomorrow starts the 30 day shred...unless Ang makes me do it tonight. ugh. goodbye inches.)

GOOOOOAOAAAAALLLL!

i entered the hospital on 12.27.2008 at 281 lbs.
that doesnt count the weight i gained while in there.
i have managed to lose and maintain 69 lbs of that weight loss.
in 32 lbs i will have exceeded 100 lbs of weight loss.
181.
i cant even remember the last time i crossed from the 100s to the 200s.

i want it back.
i did 3 hours of weights yesterday.
im 212 lbs.
i want to be 180 lbs. and then set another goal.

i have personal motivation lately, and it certainly helps to have JBug.
and nanny. she has been a superior motivator : ].

wish me luck and extend some support; im going to need it.


21 lbs to go!

seattle doesnt have diets.

im on vacation.

if i want to get anywhere with my healthy eating i need to learn willpower and good thinking slash decisions.

i arrived in Seattle for my vacation Tuesday evening.

i proceeded to then go to Po Dog, an amazing yet diet killing hot dog dive.
i LOVEd the veggie dog i had.
then came the worst: the frozen custard banana split i shared with A.

today came dry cereal for breakfast, some jelly beans as a snack, and then dinner at a mexican restaurant, i opted for chicken fajitas and my hosts proactively ordered me a 40 oz margarita. holy crepes. i didnt finish it before i was spent.
i had some frozen yogurt blend ice cream for dessert and then we went for a bucket o' rum!
no joke. the Rock restaurant has small kids buckets they fill with a fruity mix of rum and juice.

meh.
tomorrow is thanksgiving.
im not going to beat myself up for bad choices. this is my vacation. i certainly am not going to lose, and will probably gain a little back (there IS a LOT of walking in Seattle though).
but you know what? im thankful for life, for all that i have, even every pound that means i live in a country where i dont worry about my next meal.

my hope is we all take time to go buy food these holidays for one of the families affected by hunger in this beautiful country.
1 in 8 people.

tomorrow i wont gorge on thanksgiving foods. some turkey, potatoes (without butter or any sour cream) and some water and maybe waterfate salad.

we'll see.


i love my life. and im thankful.

but dammit i want that size 12 : ]

beautiful.

im aware of my curves today, in a good way.

work up, took a shower.

wearing sweats and a t shirt, laying on the couch watching a court room drama with the handsome John Travolta.

JudeBug is sleeping.

Im tired. but its a GOOD day.

going to cancel 24 hour membership and sign up at Kroc this week.

gonna swim with my boy a lot!

how blessed i am.

:]

im thankful for life.

i dont think that i say that enough. sometimes i spend SO much time bitchin about how chubby i feel or how im lacking this or that, that i dont stop to yell to the world of the blessings i DO have.


i have life. 23 years of it come this saturday.
i have a beautiful son who will be one next month.
i have a job in this atrocious but recovering economy.
a very lovely modest townhouse.
my awesome fyundai : ]
great family.

im so blessed.


chubbiness is just somethign to work on : ]

secrets.

im tired of wearing jeans either too loose or too tight. wheres the inbetween?

im tired of my legs rubbing when i walk...wearing out my pants.

im tired of being able to physically grab my chub.

im tired of only having a pretty face.

im tired of not being fit.

im tired of not being able to run without exhaustion.

im tired of feeling guilty when i eat something good n greasy.

im tired of gaining weight by eating the good n greasy.

im tired of seeing women who dont have to try to lose or maintain weight loss.

im tired of not being fat enough for weight loss programs...but still being 60 lbs overweight.

im tired of being chubby.

i want a change.

i want to be 167 lbs. still thick n curvy...but not SO thick and bumpy : ] i want to buy clothes off the rack...the non plus size rack.

i want to be able to say...wow. i lost over 100 lbs since my son was born!

i want to run for 10 minutes STRAIGHT.

i want to play a sport. or finish a 5k.

i had a bad week. and its ONLY my fault. i HAVE to get this under control.

by my 24th birthday im going to be under 185 lbs. dammit.

i really should blog daily...

it holds me accountable.


i ate muchas gracias last night.
and vanilla wafers.

i was balls tired, and was keeping myself awake. i went to pick up food for A on the way home, and ended up buying myself something.

im going to keep going. one night wont stop me.


Tara Costa you are a powerhouse. i adore you and i want to have the willpower and strength that you do.

http://www.okmagazine.com/2009/11/biggest-losers-tara-costa-i-let-go-of-my-past/tara-costa-nov-5-5/

i also need to drink more water and maybe get a natural laxative or something.
it seems workign out has done a number on me.
yeah yeah TMI i know, but you're reading this because you're in the same boat right?
let me tell you, maybe i should invest in one of those procedures to clean out my body of waste or detox things and just get rid of 30 lbs of crap...literally lol.


i've been trying to do well.
i'm going through relationship problems...or lack thereof i guess, and havent had the energy to work out. still trying to eat within my calories. i stopped buying skinny cow. because i was eating 2 a night which is still 300 calories.
i have kept myself within the limits of 1600 most days. we'll see.

i COOKED! I cooked!
homemmade chicken noodle soup with chicken broth, chicken breast, celery, carrots, and onion and noodles. perfection!


i'm feeling blessed.

oh yeah, and i'm dragging my size 16 to see BB King tonight. gonna have a few drinks but ill be good : ]

ugh

man. its been a rough coupla days.

after a few days off cardio, i went back on. kept eating healthy every day (cept one because i had a craving for those tiny deep fried burritos...yum. but despite it all, i still gained 3 lbs?

how?

so i stopped looking. i need to get my water intake back up. i also just got off of miss lady thing. so maybe im bloated?

we are deciding on meal plans and better eating habits. we spent WAYY too much money on food last month outside of grocery shopping. time to tighten the budget and make sure to save some cash.

i ran yesterday! i ran! for 5 minutes. not a full on sprint...but folks. I. Dont. Run.

and i ran!!!!

:] i look like a bear havign a seizure when i run, but i RAN!

:]


talk about success.



heres hoping my work still gets me there.

holy cats.

been a tiring past couple days. cardio resumed. 30 mins per day.

eating fairly well. we took a date out to cinnebarre last night. i was smart and ate subway prior so i wouldnt eat their food.

i did munch on a couple deep fried pickle chips...how can you NOT?!

a week without biggest loser sucks. it really motivates. local channel aired the blazer game and preempted Bl and they didnt reschedule an airing.

this better not happen again :(

im TIRED. work has been exhausting. coupled with cardio...oy.

although some things i like for some snacks.


Progresso Light soups are under 200 cals a can and a great lunch with some wheat saltines...easy on the sodium! make sure you nail the water intake. i've been bad about that.

also, some pizza flavored pasta sauce is around 30 cals per serving. i take a serving of that and put it on a couple servings of wheat saltines for some pizza flavoring without eating pizza : ]

i am about 210 now at last weigh in 2 nights ago.

still eatin my skinny cow for my sweet craving or really small tastes of foods i want. :]

this could be good. just wishing 7 lbs lost was more than it actually is.

down a lb.

at 214 now.

:]


time to actually get back in the gym.

motivation.

whats my motivation?


today it is ryan reynolds.

yes.

today. my motivation is ryan reynolds.


this may or may not carry over until tomorrow.

and slash or the end of time.


why?

aside from the obvious attraction. there is something deeper.

he is HILARIOUS. and attractive. and FIT.

I. am hilarious.

i have a pretty face.

now for the whole fit thing to come into play.


on that note. lets add scarlett johansson to the list.
she's a babe.
AND she has ryan reynolds for a husband. :]

today.

woke up with cramps.

yes im a woman.

no energy to even exercise.

then a counselors appt.

then mom duty.

i ate great today.

i even had a GINORMOUS dinner, that didnt even take me to my calorie intake.

i topped out at less than 1600.

ive discovered i love burgers WITHOUT the bun. WHAT?!? never would have thought id say that.

but yummy veggie patty with lettuce tomato and a slim slice o queso.

i also heart pirates booty.

cottage cheese (trim) and a yoplait light.

black coffee with splenda.

i didnt feel deprived.

i felt good, and im notorious for binging during the rough lady week.

i felt goooood.

J and i decided today that both of us losing at least 40 lbs would help our relationship.

get the attraction going.

im excited.

but even thinking about it right now is exhausting.

here's to a good little workout tomorrow.

i heart you cardio, but im glad we spent time apart.

:]

courtesy of:http://www.womenandweight.com/weight-management/weight-loss/28-healthy-low-calorie-snack-foods-to-go/

1. One can Low Sodium V-8 100% Vegetable Juice

(30 calories, 1 gram of protein, 0 grams fat, 7 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram dietary fiber, 80 mg sodium)

2. 14 Whole Natural Almonds

(80 calories, 3 grams of protein, 7 grams total fat, .5 grams saturated fat, 1.5 grams dietary fiber)

3. 1 small box of raisins

(130 calories, 1 gram of protein, 0 grams total fat, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams dietary fiber)

4. Fruit, sliced and packed in plastic mini-bags, or whole

(Think apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, and more…)

5. Sliced Veggies

(Cut them up and keep stored in the refrigerator so they are ready to go. Think carrots and beyond such as sweet peppers both green and red, broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, snow peas, celery, cucumbers, fennel, and radishes. Calories vary but you can eat a cup or so any of these for less than 100 calories.)

6. Babybel Light Cheese with 50 calories per piece.

7. Laughing Cow Light Cheese Wedge with 35 calories a wedge.

8. 3/4 cup Kashi Heart to Heart Cereal

(110 calories, 4 grams of protein, 1.5 grams total fat, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams dietary fiber. How about ½ cup Kashi Heart to Heart with 1 Tbsp. of either raisins or craisins for a total of about 100 calories. Makes a great low calorie, crunchy and sweet trail mix.)

9. ¾ cup Quaker Crunchy Corn Bran

(90 calories with 5 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of protein, only 0.5 grams saturated fat)

10. ½ cup Quaker Oatmeal Squares

(105 calories with 2.5 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of protein, negligible saturated fat)

11. ½ of a Balance Bar

(Full bar has about 200 calories, 14 grams of protein, 6 grams of fat, 22 grams of carbohydrates)

12. ½ of a Luna Bar

(Full bar has about 180 calories, 10 grams of protein, 4.5 grams of fat, and 24 grams of carbohydrates)

13. 2 medium Kiwis

(90 calories or 45 calories each. Do watch how you transport these they will bruise easily!)

14. 1 carton Vanilla Soy Milk

(120 calories, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of total fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber)

15. 1 carton of low-fat plain or flavored yogurt with 100 calories or less

(Read the labels there are a number of choices. (Keep in mind that yogurt is highly perishable so remember to eat within 2 hours of taking out of the refrigerator or keep cold in an insulated bag. Examples: Dannon Light Nonfat Yogurt with 50 calories.)

16. Orville Redenbacher Smart Pop 94% Fat-free Butter Microwave Popcorn

(Has only 110 calories for a full mini-bag that makes about 6 cups of popcorn with 3 grams of protein, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 4 grams of dietary fiber)

17. Finger food puffs

(I haven’t tried this but I know others who say the “finger food” puffs made for babies are a great treat. They come in flavors such as strawberry, cherry, sweet potato, banana, and apple cinnamon. Evidently you can eat as many as 80 for only 25 calories! I haven’t been able to verify this.)

18. String cheese

(Look for convenient individual packages or larger packs in a variety of brands. For example, Reduced Fat, Low Moisture Mozzarella String Cheese by Sargento has 50 calories each, 6 grams of protein, 2.5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of carbohydrate)

19. Individual fruit cups

(70 calories, 1 gram of protein, 0 grams fat, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber)

20. Organic Applesauce Cups

(Earth Kidz is one brand with 50 calories per cup, 0 grams protein, 0 grams fat, 13 grams carbohydrates, 1 gram dietary fiber.)

21. Pepperidge Farm whole-wheat mini bagels

(1 bagel has 100 calories, 4 grams of protein, 0.5 grams total fat, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber)

22. Mi-Del Old-fashioned “Swedish Style” Vanilla Snaps

(These are all natural, made with canola oil and have no trans fat. A serving size is 5 cookies with 130 calories, 4.5 grams of total fat, 21 grams of carbohydrates, and 1 gram of dietary fiber.)

23. Salmon Jerky

(1 package has 40 calories, 7 grams of protein, .5 grams fiber, 0 fat, 2 grams carbohydrate, 274 mg sodium. This product comes in various smoked flavors that are surprisingly good. I liked the Hot & Spicy Smoked Salmon Jerky. Can be ordered from Tony’s Smokehouse and Cannery in Oregon City, Oregon. http://www.tonyssmokehouse.com Sadly these are not cheap at $1.49 each and the shipping they charge is high! Know anyone in Oregon who could buy some for you?)

24. Reduced Fat Triscuits by Nabisco

(A serving of 7 crackers has 120 calories with 3 grams of protein, 3 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 21 grams of carbohydrates, and 3 grams of dietary fiber.

25. Wasa Hearty Rye Crispbread

(45 calories per serving, 1 gram of protein, 0 grams of fat, 11 grams total carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber)

26. Rice Crisps with cheddar cheese and other flavors

(O.K. admittedly, this may be one of my least nutritious recommendations but it satisfies my desire for higher calorie snack foods and cheese which I have to limit at my age. As such, it provides a lot of great flavor for only a few calories per chip. The basic product is made by a number of different companies. The brand that I can find locally has 70 calories for a serving of about 9 chips with 25 calories from fat. It is not a whole grain product and has no fiber. The good news is that is has no saturated fat or trans fat!)

27. Grace’s Sunflower Seeds Petite Cookies

(These little cookies are deliciously satisfying. 6 cookies makes for a serving with 130 calories. Stick with just four or five for about 110 calories or less, 2 grams protein, 2.5 grams saturated fat, 15 grams of carbohydrate, 1 gram dietary fiber. You may have a hard time finding this particular brand where you live. If so, check your local natural foods co-op or health food store to see what else you might find.)

28. One Pomegranate

(O.K. I admit this could get a little messy and be time consuming to eat but it is also very satisfying and nutritious. Look for the juicy flesh-covered seeds inside. One pomegranate has about 100 calories, 1 gram of protein, 0 grams of fat, 26 grams of carbohydrate, 1 gram of dietary fiber.)

Now you have my thoughts. Please jump in the conversation by leaving a comment below and let me know what are your favorite grab and go snacks for staying healthy and managing your weight. Thanks!

chores...and such.

i didnt gym it up today. but i ate good. instant oatmeal for breakfast, a couple servings of pirates booty...its a guilty pleasure...and then subway turkey breast with the inside of the bread removed and some beef jerky. gonna make some chili soon!

but i grocery shopped!

made sure to eat subway first so i wasnt shopping on an empty stomach. :]

got good things. chili fixins, some low cal low carb heart healthy tortillas,

skinny cows for dessert. jello snacks (for J Bug to play in:] or rather get messy in)

low calorie bread and lettuce, tomatoes and turkey for some sammiches.

jennie-o turkey franks and buns (for the fam to use, not i)

some steamed veggies and raw veggies for cookin with.

fat free milk.

granola bars for snacks.

ground turkey to cook with in lieu of beef.

i made some good choices.

and am excited to have a full fridge : ]

im sad that Biggest Loser was preempted by the Blazer game. The Blazers area great team...but would i rather watch fit people run for 3 hours...or my chubby friends succeed on tv? i prefer the latter.

we are going to a Blazer game next month. im excited : ]

i am gettin in some cardio tomorrow. and making sure to keep up the healthy eating.

i did a lot of walking today, so much that my hips hurt like when i was pregnant. but i know its not enough.

its gonna take some work. but today im in a great mood. might just peruse the net and post some fun tips n tricks i find :]

later.

M.

on that note

im going to go cuddle in bed and think about grocery shopping for GOOD foods tomorrow (not going on an empty stomach, going to JUST stick to the list), working out, my goals, and read up on the new issue of HEALTH magazine with Jillian Michaels on the cover.

im thinking also about a small detox. just from the random crap i put in my body sometimes. no fast food. no energy drinks (i rely on them too much for bad days and skip the water without thinking...ill admit to you random strangers, i had 3 THREE! sugar free rockstars. they are awesome, but not good for you :[ sigh), i will drink a LOT of water with NO artificial sweeteners, and work on mostly veggies while still creating properly balanced meals.

im going to try that for a week and see how i feel.

any ideas? tips...tricks?

let me know.

i need help.

that burp tasted of guilt...

yeah the subject is a little grosser than anyone would imagine.

here's how today went.

woke up went to work, ate a single serving of total whole grain with lowfat milk.

good choice. about 235 calories.

for lunch had a ream of wheat saltines with healthy choice 200 calorie per can chicken noodle soup.

still not too bad. about 550 calories. good choice.

on my lunch today, when i normally work out if the plan isnt going to the gym after work, i didnt work out. the past 5 days have left me exhausted. a day off isnt bad. its not a bad choice. rest is good, even when you arent doing hardcore workouts. it was 5 days of at least 30 mins cardio elliptical or bike. and i needed a break. good choice. i wasnt going tot he gym tonight anyway; i had a team outing planned for my team at work.

dinner came the tough part. the team outing was at red robin.

i was smart; as per my wonderful inspiration in Bob and Jillian from The Biggest Loser, i checked out the menu ahead of time by my trusty friend:

www.dwlz.com (short for dottis weight loss zone, thats how i remember the acronym. this website is awesome, on top of just finding tips n tricks and support up the arse, you will find a nearly completely and regularly updated restaurant list with their menu and meals caloried out for ya with fat and protein grams also provided. also this includes weight watchers points for almost every item...if you are a weight watchers points member.)

i checked out...red robin.

HOLY CREPES! i had NO idea my typical meal there was like this.

im a predictable person. i will fidn a good meal at a restaurant and get the same thing almost every time i go. routine is nice.

here is what my OLD usual meal would be: (courtesy of dwlz.com)

Teriyaki Chicken Burger (900 cal/47g fat/3g fiber/65g carbs/55g protein)

not to mention the steak fries that come with the gourmet burgers at around 400 calories a SERVING.

today i decided to be better. i like garden burgers, being a former vegetarian, so i opted for this choice:

The Garden Burger (578 cal/18g fat/10g fiber/63g carbs/22g protein

it was still keeping me within my recommended calories and not depriving me of a good burger.

i wish i had stopped there.

sometimes God (or whichever belief you believe in) gives you an :out" prior to making bad decisions. mine came in the form of being offered veggies as a side, veggies that i dont really like. i opted for the fries intending to stick with the small serving with the burgers, about 6 fries.

i didnt. i proactively asked for more, and the waiter came back stating the fries were just getting cooked and would be right out. i COULD have said no thanks.

i didnt.

when they came out STEAMIGN hot. i COULD have decided not to eat them. they werent any additional cost.

i didnt choose to forgo them.

so i ate about at least 500 calories in fries...If. Not. More.

i still try to not feel bad. i declined the alcoholic drink i was planning on having.

but i know i need to buckle down. i drank only about 32 oz of water today.

im going to bloat.

i need to get this right and get it right now.

i cant afford this in my life. i want to be healthy. i want to be 167 lbs.

i dont need to be rail thin. and if come 185 lbs i feel awesome, ill tone down the workouts and just work at maintaining my weight loss. but im not happy at 215. and after the past couple days...i bet i gained a little. im going to work at this. im GOING to get it right.

i think i'm going to set the goal of at least 185 by June 2010.

God Help me.

I'm going to need it.

thigh sighs.

its a hard day today.

ive done about 30 mins of cardio every day for 5 days straight. havent gone to 24 hour fitness recently because of wanting to be at home with j, i have been exercising at work.

last night for some random reason i binged a little lotta bit.

well i tried to not make myself feel guilty.

ive been doing well!

its so hard to keep going because i feel im not losing anything.

people make the statements "oh you've lost weight" but when you see yourself in the mirror every day...you dont notice the small changes.

but im trying to keep my chin up.

30 more minutes of cardio and some lighter weight lifting today.

had a couple hershey kisses today to give me smiles through the tough day at work.

but when i went to sit down earlier...i realized how big my thighs are. they are HUGE. its hard to notice their true girth when im standing. but oh my word. its going to be hard to notice the differences. because lets face it...im no size two.

i gotta admit, im rather embarrassed about how i let myself get here.

its hard to focus on the good things sometimes.

i've lost nearly 80 lbs total since the day i actually had my son, 12.27.2009.

EIGHTY!

by working out and eating better (thank you breastfeeding also!) i lost EIGHTY POUNDS in about 10 months.

when you look at it that way, im really just about 30% from my goal.

but damn.

50 lbs is harder than it looks.

50 lbs is a lot more than it looks.

im not aiming for a size 2. heck im not even aiming for a size 10.

its just difficult.

my heart is hopeful; my brain is just getting down today.

i want comfort snacks.

pirates booty for the win!

im going to post pictures soon.

i feel i should wait until there is more progress.

HOW DO PEOPLE KEEP IT UP?

i'm the lowest weight ive been in about 2 or 3 years i wanna say?

its incredibly hard to not just give up.

but i am GOING to do this.

oh my.

im SO tired.

worked out on lunch (27 mins of cardio and light weights).

worked out at work instead of 24 hour so i could be home with jude tonight instead of the gym. glad i did. he is already asleep.

sleepy sleepy guy.

im right there with him.

im amazing how much not working out at a gym can make you feel unaccomplished.

i used to go months without 30 mins of cardio. here i do 30 mins and i feel like i slacked.

im gonna like feeling this way. :]

J checked out the new Kroc community center and wants me to switch gyms.

i'm unsure. i like my 24 hour. :]

im beat.

but love this new energy!

feelin good.

love my life.

oh my

J bought me biggest loser for the wii.

im entirely too tired to do anything today let alone go to the gym.

about to force myself to play it more than the 5 mins i played earlier. there is cardio and strength training and challenges.

and it weighed me.

my goal was to not get on a scale but it had to weigh me for my profile.

215.

i think it has dropped a bit.

that was also after 32 oz of water and a cup o coffee.

i need more energy. i need more results. im feeling great!

gym tomorrow at least for some cardio!

Love you Bob n Jill!

crepes! i did it.

small goals...large goals...

it doesnt matter the size, but rather the weight of what they mean.

prior to having j, i would get on a machine and in 5 minutes need to stop. i wasnt 400 lbs, but i was out of shape. j keeps me in shape. not thin or lean, but in shape, way moreso than before.

today i went to the gym.

my partner wasnt able to accompany me, but i pressed on. and im glad i did.

i accomplished a goal of mine.

i stayed on the elliptical for 60 minutes jogging today.

i am not able to run without getting winded and i feel sometimes like im going to throw up, but today, without any motivation i did it.

with my MyTouch blaring Break As We Fall (their album If You're Lonely is available now on iTunes and breakaswefall.com) i just went.

and pushed myself to go where i havent ever gone.

i know it probably sounds silly to those of you who can do it without a problem. but for the fluffies out there, the chubbies, even the thin but out of shape...60 minutes is HUGE!

i continued my workout after with some weight training.

i feel good.

made some healthy decisions for dinner (not the tastiest...tasted like paper...wont be trying that again anytime soon), and will continue to make good decisions as the Biggest loser records on the dvr tonight.

:]

yes folks that picture says over one hour and nearly 500 calories.

it should also come with a big fat medal.

Pain is temporary, Pride is forever.

and damn i feel proud.

you can do it! start small and celebrate your successes!

5 minutes, 10, 15, 20, 30, 45, 55, 60.

you can!

todays progress?

yeah a question mark.

the past few nights have been BRUTAL.

worked out thurs and fri and didnt get to sleep til nearly midnight. then saturday i worked out at work gym briefly so that i could go and have a family night. again...bed at midnight.

then sunday another gym day...and another late night.

then tonight, i worked out on my lunch at work with 20 mins cardio (i never thought that would be a small workout!)

i did eat a wee worse than normal.

jamies dinner i doubt was as low fat as he promised.

and the nanny made cupcakes she wanted me to try. 3 small ones down the hatch to give her feedback.

ive noticed my body is telling me its full sooner which is lovely. had a footlong sub from subway today (turkey breast) and that USED to be just enough. now it hurts like heck to eat that much.

my rep brought in donuts today and to make sure he knew they were appreciated i ate half one.

i need to get out of the mentality that gram put me in. "if they put it in front of you, its disrespectful to turn it away".

i love you gram...but your philosophy allowed over 500 calories in sweets today!

tomorrow will be a grueling make up session.

and then hopefully behaving at the birthday party for T.!

i have gotten some comments from people at work about some weight loss and looking healthy and "glowing". i know there isnt a real difference really in weight, but i can tell my confidence is through the roof. i only wish that there were sleep to go with it.

october 16th, 2009.

workout partner was not coming to workout, but i pressed on. i was a bit worried i wouldnt push myself as hard without her there. but i took some music and some motivation.

it all started witht he elliptical again. it has become my friend. i have a really hard time running. (ive tried to eliminate CANT from my vocab, but its the way i really feel about running).

but today i made it further than even yesterday. i covered the time and just went. went until i started to feel the burn and then kept going.

i uncovered the time and saw i was at 34 minutes; this is longer than even yesterdays. but i noticed i was nearly at 300 calories...so that became my new goal: to get to 300 calories burned. then i acheived calories burned and decided...hey im SO close to 40 minutes...lets get to 40...once i hit forty i noticed i was at 2.93 miles...so i pressed on to 3 miles...and stayed until after 40 minutes had passed. i almost didnt want to get off of it. instant gratification on that machine, and after 20 minutes i seem to catch a second wind. but i knew i needed to mix it up a bit.

so i went to the leg machines. pushed a little further and did more, by distracting myself with a magazine.

i headed to the free weights and did a few reps of 12 lbers. then headed to the bike where i spent a few minutes cycling.

i stopped off at the stairmaster...instant;y felt a burn and wasnt feeling renewed enough for the challenge on that one, so i worked my upper body a bit and then rowed.

the rowing machine is crazy.

even my neck hurt. How Does it Do That?

holy cats.

but it was good. i tried to work the remnants or beginnings of my abs. not sure how that turned out.

ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast,

a granola bar for a snack.

a couple pieces of jerky for some protein.

then another bowl of cereal for my lunchish (i woke up late and my schedule was off, but, i knew that i needed the extra energy. fat free milk doesnt do me wrong.

i had another granola bar before going to the gym and topped off my workout with 2 turkey wraps. totalling under 300 calories the protein immediately gave me energy...holy crepes, how will i sleep?

the shower after felt awesome. at some points in the workout i think i felt my muscles actually breaking down.

but i feel awesome. i almost was too exhausted today from a twacky sleep schedule that i nearly didnt go, but its amazing how much energy you GET from expending what little energy you might have.

i know its a long journey, and i think ive decided to not weigh myself for awhile.

it could lead to disheartened feelings and crushed emotions.

i want to keep going. i cant keep giving up.

im now paying for this pain, and also the pride that comes with it.

the gym is a place where you are succeeding if you sweat all over yourself; where you dont matter if you are big and bulky.

it doesnt feel uncomfortable.

ive been there before, but always a bit self conscious, but its just a group of people wanting to be healthy, but at different stages. its nice to watch the tiny butt of a woman whos been working her tail off and knowing i can get that too.

its like a high, an addiction.

but after that shower...my muscles are on fire. THIS part i dont know how i feel about.

i do love the feeling of this though. the inner emotional "i'm actually Doing it" feeling.

i weighed myself the other day: the scale i think was way off.

september twenty ninth i went to the doctor and they had me at 218.

the scale at work showed like 8 lbs more. probably just the water weight.

but thats why im not weighing myself. im not going to let it dictate how hard i work out. im gonna give it my all every day i go there.

i wont let it dictate my food; i need to make good choices anyway.

a number isnt what you look.

ill tell you that right now.

i dont look 218 lbs.

what matters is how i feel. and if i dont lose weight but i lose inches and i look healthy at even 250 lbs...i need to accept that i am healthy...and i am me.

someone remind me of that when im having a fat day please.

the harsh truth

sometimes words sting.

i remember a few years back, i overheard a boyfriend of mine defending me to some of our friends.

"no seriously, she really just has big bones..." in a surprised tone.

thats when i realized...holy crap. im fluffy!

then comes when i lost the weight and started working at ******.

i was about 175 and looking good. but come a few years later after 2 deaths and 3 years working at the desk job...

i was a lot more of me.

i was talking to a friend who said ever so gracefully "when you started here, you looked really good; i bet it wouldnt take very long to get back there".

i understood both of their points.

even at my thinnest ive been curvy.

and it really wont take that long, and doesnt when i put forth the effort.

did i or do i ever want to hear that?

no. but heres to holding myself accountable with these words so i dont have to worry about hearing them or the likes of those statements ever again.

love me some bob and jillian

this was a twitter/facebook update from JM the other day:

Jillian Michaels

Bob and I are bored. We are making up tips for you: 1. bob - try going vegetarian for one whole day. it lowers cholesterol and is great for heart health. 2. jill - Don't wash your fruit until you are ready to eat it. The water can make the fruit mold faster. 3. bob - have sex. lot's of it. it keeps you young and burns up to 350 cals per hour for average effort. 4. jill - what bob said.

my biggest weight loss tip o' the day;

find someone(s) to motivate you...whether it be a trainer, a friend, or even an ex you want to strut your stuff in front of, a crush, your husband or wife, you want to get back into shape for your kids or to be more active - if you have someone to motivate you - you'll be more successful than if you dont. sometimes...we alone arent the best motivation., that is why i havent lost the weight yet.

i have people to motivate and inspire me.

my brother and friends K. and A. who go to the gym too.

my son.

the object of my affections.

oh and the ex factor doesnt hurt too much either.

do it. you'll find motivation.

courtesy of: http://www.nowloss.com/fast-weight-loss-tips.htm

31 Weight Loss Tips

1. Workout smarter

Did you know you can actually lose more weight & keep your metabolism fired up longer by doing 3-to-4 shorter 10-minute workouts instead of 1 big 30-to-40-minute cardio workout?

A research study at the university of Pittsburgh found that women who split up their 40 minute cardio workouts into 4 separate 10 minute cardio workout sessions during the day LOST 20 pounds while... the group of women who did one big 40 minute cardio workout only lost 14 pounds and...

The reason why more shorter workouts are better is because you never give your fat burning metabolism a chance to slow down.

2. Take a break to lose weight faster

A University of Tokyo study found that people who took a 20 minute break about halfway thru their hour-long cardio workout burned 20% more fat than the people who worked out for an hour straight non-stop because... Taking short 20 minute workout breaks makes your fat-burning hormones work much better.

3. Drink Water

Water Lowers the Amount of Fat Stored in your body

Your kidneys get very lazy on the job when you don't drink enough water and as a result of you not drinking water, your kidneys give most of its unfinished work to your liver.

One of your liver's functions is to help your body burn stored fat for energy and it can't perform that job fully if it has to do the kidney's job also.

By not drinking water you put your liver on double duty, decreasing its fat burning potential and causing you to store more fat. If you drink enough water your kidneys will stop being lazy, do its job of excreting waste products from your body, and...Keep reading

4. Fast weight loss = YOU eating more RAW fruits & veggies

Your body has to burn a lot of calories to break down the RAW fruits & veggies you eat so basically... You're losing weight fast every time you eat fruits & veggies and people whose diets are dominant in fruits & veggies tend to lose weight faster and maintain their weights much longer plus...

Fruits & Veggies give you longer lasting energy while fighting off hunger cravings which means you'll never get fat but fruits & veggies will keep you burning fat! and... Researchers at Tufts university found that the more vegetables people eat - the thinner they are. See how to lose weight without counting calories

5. Drink Green Tea

Studies show you can burn 35-43% more fat during the day when you drink 3-5 cups of green tea - See how to make your own fat-burning Green Tea

6. Eat more fiber

Getting more fiber in your diet can help you control your weight. Eating fiber preventsyou from overeating because it makes you feel full.

You'll have an even greater feeling of fullness and higher energy levels throughout the day if you eat meals that are mostly made up of fiber, protein, and water.

Fiber also slows down the digestion of foods you eat keeping your blood sugar/energy levels in check preventing you from getting hungry and... Keep reading

7. Eat more protein

You'll eat up to 500 calories less per day when at least 30 % of the calories you eat is from protein and... You increase your body's fat burning metabolism every time you eat fiber & protein because your body has to burn a lot of calories just to digest the protein & fiber you eat plus...

Protein speeds up your weight loss by helping you build and/or maintain lean muscle that also raises your fat-burning metabolism and...

The main reason why people lose weight fast on high protein diets is because Protein suppresses appetite by keeping you fuller longer.

8. Drink milk

Recent research now shows that including more dairy in your in your diet may make iteasier to lose those extra pounds and burn fat without cutting back too much on calories.

One of the most exciting findings of this new research is diets that are dairy-rich will help you almost double the rate of weight loss as compared to dairy-poor diets and... Keep reading

9. Limit your salt

Consuming more than the recommend 2500mg (1 tablespoon) of sodium each day will cause you to retain water and gain weight (bloating)

When you limit the amount of sodium you eat your body will begin to expel some that unwanted water weight and... Keep reading

10. Get more active

Adding a little physical activity to your daily routine will help you start losing weight quicker than you can imagine.

Don't Worry, getting more active doesn't mean you have to sign up at a gym and take tae-bo or start participating in marathons regularly!

There are many ways that you can gradually become more active to lose weight and...Keep reading

11. Wake up & Workout!

As soon as you wake up in the morning workout for at least 30min to an hour. Studies show that working out in the morning has been shown to burn up to 3 times as more fat as opposed to working out at any other time during the day. Here's Why: Keep reading

12. Don't skip breakfast

Fact: People who skip breakfast are 4 times more likely to be FAT than people who Don't skip breakfast!

Eating breakfast in the morning also gets your metabolism started.

A recent Study at the University of Texas at El Paso found that people who ate breakfast also ate 100 less calories a day and if you eat 100 less calories every day for one year - you'll easily lose 10 pounds.

Don't skip breakfast and wait until mid-morning or afternoon to eat, your metabolism will run slower causing you not burn any extra fat because... Keep reading

13. Men ^{& maybe women?} - Lift heavier weights to burn fat faster

IF you lift heavy weights (that allow you to only do 3-to-5 reps per set) you'll burn more calories during your weight training workout if you lifted lighter weights for 8-to-12 reps and the reason is simple...

You burn more calories or use much more energy to lift heavier weights plus... You'll get a much greater after burn effect from lifting heavier weights because of the high intensity and because of the fact your body's metabolism will burn more fat to help your body recover from your heavy weight training workout - Go here to see what after burn has to do with weight loss

Extra secret tip for men: Do fast weight loss workout #2 using heavier weights that only allow you to do about 5-to-8 reps of each exercise to really burn fat fast & build muscle at the same time and did you know... lifting heavy weights will increase your testosterone

14. Do cardio last to blast fat fast

Before you hop on the bike or treadmill for an hour it's best that you spend 45 minutes doing a moderate-to-high intensity weight training or body sculpting workout to use up most of your body's stored carbs or glycogen for energy so when you do get ready to do your cardio workout...

Your body will began to burn more fat for energy during your cardio workout rather than a combination of fat and carbs because you already used up most of your body's stored carbs for energy during your 45 minute body sculpting workout and...

This tip is almost like fast weight loss tip #11 where you workout with most of your stored carbs GONE so you can burn more fat but get this...

You can blast away twice as much fat if you do a higher intensity workout after your body sculpting workout like intervals or Tae-bo and a perfect example of a ready-made weight training workout followed by intense intervals is fast weight loss workout #1

15. Walk 10,000 steps a day & lose an extra 10 pounds a year

If you don't have time to go on an exercise program - buy a pedometer, wear it, and try to get in 10,000 steps a day to burn an extra 100 calories or more everyday which adds up to you losing over 10 pounds a year with minimal effort on your part.

16. Use music to lose weight fast

Use your favorite music to keep you motivated and energized longer during yourweight loss workouts to reach your weight loss goals faster.

A recent study shows that overweight people who did their weight loss workouts to music lost an average of 16 pounds - twice as much as the people who didn't workout with music. Go here to see other ways to get motivated to lose weight fast.

17. Switch To a Mediterranean Diet As Soon As Possible

Which people are the leanest, least overweight, longest lived, and have lowest rates of chronic disease on earth? The people from the Asia & the Mediterranean regions do. The main reason why these people are the leanest and least overweight is... Keep reading

18. Have water or vegetable juice before meals

Drinking a glass of water or vegetable juice before your meals will suppress your appetite so you will not eat that much so you can lose weight fast. See more things you can drink to lose weight fast.

19. Remember to take your multivitamins every day!

Research shows that taking your vitamins daily helps you maintain your weight and it also helps reduce your appetite while you're on a weight loss diet plan and get this...

When researchers asked over 500 men & women if they took multivitamins daily - the men & women that did take multivitamins daily had lower bodyweights & less body fat and in another research study...

45 overweight people who didn't use multivitamins were put on a weight loss diet and given multivitamins and at the end of the 15-week study - everybody in the study lost weight mainly because they were on a weight loss diet but the multivitamins probably helped them stay on the diet longer by reducing their appetites and...

If you don't get the right amount of nutrients - your body will MAKE YOU HUNGRY by increasing your appetite so you'll eat more (and probably gain weight) to get the nutrients you need and taking multivitamins prevents this

• Ladies may want to use One-A-Day Women's Multivitamin and...
• Men may want to use One-A-Day Men's Multivitamin

20. Make Yourself heavier to lose weight faster

The more you weigh the more calories you'll burn while exercising (Go here to see why)so... You can make yourself heavier by wearing a weight vest, book bag, or backpack to burn more calories while walking or running and...

You only need to add an extra 20-to-30 pounds to your weight vest, book bag, or backpack to lose weight faster.

21. Sleep Just Right

Don't sleep too long or TOO short because according to a study done by researchers at Laval University in Quebec... People who slept TOO LONG (over 8 hours) & people who slept TOO SHORT (under 6 hours) were more likely to gain weight than people who slept the normal 7-to-8 hours and...

When you don't get enough sleep the levels of leptin in your body are lowered. Leptin is a blood protein that suppresses your appetite. With your levels of leptin being lowered due to sleep depravation... Keep reading

Look at 33 Secrets to a Good Night's Sleep

22. CHEW your food longer and lose weight faster

You should chew everything you eat at least 8-12 times. Eat slowly. Your body doesn't realize that you've had enough to eat until several minutes after you've had it.

If you eat too fast... Keep reading

23. How to eat a lot more & Lose more weight than people who diet

If you exercise for 45+ minutes at a moderate-to-high intensity at least 5 times a week... You'll be able to eat up to 500 more calories a day than the actually calories you need to lose weight simply because...

You burn the most calories when exercising for long periods of time at higher intensities meaning you can get away with eating an extra snack everyday and still lose 1-to-2 pounds a week and In a University of Pittsburgh study...

Women who ate 2,000 calories a day and exercised for 60 minutes at moderate-to-high intensities lost the most weight out of 4 different test groups. Go here to see if you're working out hard enough to lose weight

24. Eat about 1500-to-2000 calories a day

Most men & women can lose 1-to-2 pounds a week or a little over 10 pounds in 5 weeks without even feeling hungry if they eat 1500-to-2000 calories a day by eating mainly weight loss foods and...

If can't exercise - you may want to eat 1200-to-1500 calories a day and if you're active - You want to eat 1700-to-2000 calories a day and...

Try to split up your 1500-to-2000 calories into 5 smaller smaller meals to burn even more fat.

25. Use baby utensils to prevent overeating

Use smaller plates instead of big ones to limit your meal or portion sizes and also use baby forks or spoons so that'll force you to take smaller bites which will make your meal last longer plus you FEEL full quicker on less calories.

26. High Carb or High Protein for fast weight loss?

IF you workout at least 3-to-4 times a week... You want to eat more complex carbs by making sure only 30-to-40% of your calories come from lean proteins & healthy fats so you can have the extra energy to workout longer, burn more calories and lose more weight but on the other hand...

If you want to lose weight without exercising - then a higher protein diet (where only 30-to-40% of your calories are from carbs) will help you lose weight fast (see fast weight loss tip #7 to see why) but the smartest way to lose weight fast is to probably...

Eat High carbs on your workout days and High protein on your Non-workout days.

27. Eat and run walk

Take a 5-10 minute walk after each meal. It doesn't have to be a walk, but any activity will do. The reason you should do this is because... Keep reading

28. WALK! & DON'T RUN to maintain your weight

According to a study in the International Journal of Obesity - People who walked at least 12 miles a week (or 1-to-2 miles a day) no matter how fast or slow they walked were able to maintain their weight.

29. Please Avoid sodas - Even Diet sodas

Since regular soda is basically a weight gainer drink and since water is a 0 calorie weight loss drink - You would lose 1 pound every week if you replaced 2 bottles of soda with 2 bottles of water so go here to see how to stop drinking soda and...

Some studies now link high consumption of diet soda with weight gain because even though diet sodas have 0 calories... The artificial sweeteners increase your cravings for sugars and other foods that make you gain weight.

30. Don't sit down for more than 4 hours

According to researchers at Missouri University - sitting down or being virtually inactive for longer than 4 hours slows down your metabolism making it easier for you to store fat so to prevent this from happening try standing up for at least 10 minutes within every 4 hours and you don't have to worry about doing this while sleeping (see fast weight loss tip #17)

31. Say "So that" Everyday

Ask yourself Why you want to lose weight and after you come up with a reason why... Just keep on saying SO THAT.

For example - Why Do you want to lose weight...

• I want to lose weight to look better SO THAT...
• I can feel more confident about myself SO THAT...
• I can be the best looking person at my high school reunion SO THAT...
• I can see the surprised looks on the faces of my classmates SO THAT...
• I may be able to go on a date with the person I had a crush on in high school

Can you see what's happening here?

The more times you say SO THAT the more and more motivated you'll become to lose weight. I don't know about you but...

If you can come up with at least three SO THAT'S - nothing will stop you from losing weight.

riddle me this:

im fluffy.

ive been fluffy for years.

its nothing new.

i. LOVE. food.

and up until now i guess i've loved it more than i loved being thin and feeling healthy.

but i realize 2 MAJOR problems of my personality when it comes to food:

i eat WAY fast. i can polish off a footlong sub in record time : ]

and by the time breakfast is over (i just ate 1.5 cups of Capn crunch and fat free milk. oh yeah and it was the halloween capn crunch that makes the milk green lol. im such a child).

anyhow, by the time breakfast is over...i am still thinking about food. and still want it.

where the heck did this mentality come from?

oh well fat, you're going down. or out. out preferably.

i feel goood.

went to workout with my workout partner A. today.

30 minutes on the elliptical.

then leg weights.

bench press.

ab workout...i learned here i HAVE NO abs.

free weights.

excellent.

feeling good. almost dont wanna go to bed because then im waking up in pain.

third day this week. much better week than ever else.

excited.

nothing makes you feel more beautiful than working out to your fullest potential and feeling the burn.

i feel so accomplished.

success holds much more value if you didnt want to do it, or didnt think you could.

sparkpeople counted my calories around 1200 today, and i wasnt even hungry at the end of it all.

need to boost the protein to help with healing muscles.

wish i had my own Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper.

wish i could just watch biggest loser everyday...it really is the perfect motivation.

foooooooood!

nature valley granola bars;

180 calories may seem like a lot for a snack, but its my replacement for having a chocolate bar. sometimes i eat a couple a day to eat between meals as my under 200 caorie snacks.

sugar free maple and brownsugar oatmeal packets.

instant is not overrated! i eat 3 of these 100 calorie packets for breakfast and its 300 calories. or i take 2 and mix it with small apple pieces for 300 calories. its so tasty and fills me up good : ]

black coffee.

did you know just drinking black coffee pretty much eliminates all the calories. most house blacks have less than 10 calories per 8 oz cup. add some Splenda no calorie sweetener.

veggies...i love all kinds cooked up. green beans and asparagus are especially a favorite. you can also get those "steamfresh" bags and its a quick treat. add some kosher salt and its super tasty and healthy for you.

easy on the salt tiger.

lean turkey slices are really low cal, add some lettuce and ripe tomatoes in a wheat low calorie tortilla for a snack or even have a couple of these for a meals. you'll get your bread servings and your veggies without added fat or calories. some tortillas have as low as 80 calories for a small.

mashed potatoes are a weakness. but you can swap the potatoes for cauliflower, seriously it doesnt taste much different. the smell is a bit different, but dont let that be off putting.

if i want potatoes i have them...but without ranch without butter without gravy. just a little salt can still make them flavorful, but again watching the sodium is key.

off to run some errands and get some things from the store more to come soon!

La Tortilla Factory's large wheat tortillas are 80 calories and pretty awesome. today i made 2 small turkey wraps and the total cals topped out under 250 calories. :]

it had iceburg lettuce (10 calories for 5 large leafs...yeah they are basically nothing). one small roma tomato cut and sliced into each one. and then turkey slices on top of that.

yum yum yum. they arent as natural tasting as some of the others, but for 50 calories less you can load up on lettuce and change the natural taste a bit.

and i just found out that skinny cow makes Chocolate peanut butter ice cream sandwiches!!!

ah!

some of my favorite tools...

Biggest Loser Calorie Counter

http://www.amazon.com/Biggest-Loser-Calorie-Counter-Restaurants-As/dp/1594865957

it has so much of everything. tips from previous contestants, dining out menu nutritional information to some popular restaurants (yeah i learned a footlong tuna at subway is the highest calorie and highest fat on the menu: 1060 calories and 61 grams of fat...NEVER doing that again).

yoga ball.

dude, i got one of the big ones, and i sit with the nanny and we balance and exercise and stretch while we watch our favorite shows. nanny is also a favorite tool to use. i need accountability.

gym:

we have a workout room at work, but its only available to employees. im going to 24 hour fitness to get a membership soon. that way if i need a partner in accountability i can call up A. or Brudder. and i can have someone push me. dont get me wrong, having the Biggest Loser trainers in my head when i need motivation works wonders so far...unfortunately, its easy to call them bad names and quit when they arent actually here.

fluffy friends:

gotta have accountability. having fat friends who are making good choices and losing weight is a great tool.

former fluffy friends;

those who have lost the weight and keep it off are my heroes.

my friends Megan and Stephanie have each lost 60 lbs or more and have kept it off.

i love seeing their old pictures.

food journal:

truth be told. sometimes it ends up getting written on 3x5 cards at work...but making sure im keeping a log of my food and calories is essential. you are MUCH more likely to succeed and also to hold yourself accountable for the foods you eat when you write them down.

i never eat fast food when i record my foods. i love that im back into it.

SPARKPEOPLE.com

this website is essential to me. when i lost 70 lbs...it was with this website.

its a FREE website.

register...try it DAILY for a MONTH. you WILL be impressed and feel so connected.

there are blogs and there are exercises and free food logs and calorie counters.

its fabulous.

Family;

you have to tell them.

i ask Js daddy to make healthy food. and make it not taste healthy. he does a wonderful job. he loves to cook and it really helps to try and and challenge him to make good things. recently i challenged him to make low fat low cal sweet onion chicken teriyaki like at subway...but just as chicken breasts so i could avoid the bread and calories. he made triple servings so i had lunch for 2 days after : ].

good running shoes.

i dont run.

i hate to run.

but having the nikes that i have (got them for 50 bucks on clearance) are essential to a good workout.

thats all for now. :]