:]

devin was about 4...so this mustve been about 4 years ago?
this was me about 3 years ago :]
this was right after i had Julian, i had to throw this in to make me feel better for all the progress. lookit that face! :]
i miss this.
and this.
lol i even made an EEG look good.
this is the one i went to get. i didnt know how to be less awkward, luckily ive grown into my features :] unluckily ive grown into my features :(
:] not the best photo, but look at my definition! i miss this. and this is what i work for.

doesnt it feel good to sweat? yes, only when you are intending to :]

Jbug woke me at 530 this morning, and i decided to stay awake.

i went to a show last night, my friend Evan's band, Break as we Fall (amazing btw...go see them. www.myspace.com/breakaswefall) at a bar and grill and sipped on fruit juice and water and ate a fruit bowl. i wasnt hungry really, and didnt want to mow down on a huge burger or anything.

upon hearing a sexy rexy song, can you say Butterfly by Mr Jason Mraz? i got a kick in my pants.

i miss feeling sexy. i feel good almost all the time, pretty beautiful, adorable lovely.
but i havent felt sexy in awhile.

i also found a photo from years ago at a keane concert with my sister (another shameless band plug) and it made me miss THAT body.

im still me, and i still LOVE me, and i think anyone who wants to lose weight needs to love themselves first before they think a new body will help.
i love who i am, and i dont need to lose weight to love and be loved, but it helps me feel good.

im gonna show that photo...hold please bloggers:

okay they loaded above.

the sad thing, is when i was this small i didnt do it necessarily the right way. when i was in high school i had some horrible methods, and never again will i be THAT girl.

i deserve to EARN it.

and my son deserves his mom to be the BEST she can be. :]

i dont know why i hated running, or why sometimes i still dont just go do it. after the first 10 minutes run slash walking i feel phenomenal. :]

all right ass, get.in.gear. :]

im gonna be someones butterfly.